【Taiwan】

Hey,Taiwan I was doing just fine before I heard "Something Just Like This" by the Chainsmokers and Coldplay.

Vocals are left to Chris Martin's perfectly adequate pipes, as he spins a tale of longing for something uncomplicated, crooning, "I've been reading books of old. The legends and the myths."

But he's not like the other guys who did stuff! He is no Achilles, he's just a sensitive dude advertising his willingness to settle. And then the beat drops.

The song is from The Chainsmokers' forthcoming debut album, Memories...Do Not Open, which Martin is very much looking forward to.

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The dudes all performed the song live for the very first time at today's Brit Awards. It was fine.

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Basically, it's just a pretty forgettable pop song with EDM flourishes that pitches dullness as a virtue and complacency as romance. There aren't even any of the Chainsmokers' hyper-specific and weirdly compelling details about pool parties soundtracked by pop punk and yes, alcohol. It's almost commendable how meta the song gets, "How much are you willing to risk?" Apparently, the answer is nothing.

It will, however, help a lot of teens convince their parents to let them go see those nice boys who write songs with Chris Martin so a cursory Google search doesn't ruin everything.

The video will probably involve a bunch of rainbow smoke and lights to jazz things up a bit.

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Pray that this doesn't go in the way of The Chainsmokers' most high-profile collaboration to date, "Closer" with Halsey, which resulted in a bitter Twitter feud. Is there a greater pain than watching a bromance go down in flames?

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